i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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