Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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