Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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