Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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