U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
