dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
