i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize