This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
