Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
