based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its not stalking. its research.
even my farts smell like vagina
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
