Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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