I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
