chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
