I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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