You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Still dying that you shit outside
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
