I'm really into asian looking animals
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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