I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
only if we run a train.
done.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
