So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
