Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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