You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
