Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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