I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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