just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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