He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
