we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She even gives head with a lisp.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
