She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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