everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
as a side note pls kill me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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