Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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