So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
