I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
