it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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