Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
