Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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