literally had 100 drinks last night.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
