How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
