i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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