I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
