Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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