This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
