i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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