the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
