My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
