I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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