South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
