Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
