Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
