I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
