when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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