Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize