if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We left the knife in your bed.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
