Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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