Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
