You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
