those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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