i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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