your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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