He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
