I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
