I cockslap morals
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Everclear isn't food dammit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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