We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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