I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I accidentally burped into my bong.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
