sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
