well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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